Do I Have a Sexual Addiction? The Three “C’s” That Block Your Freedom

First Step; Acknowledging That You Are Powerless over Inappropriate Sex.

How to Stop Pornography Addiction

The freedom is simply unbelievable.  Could it happen for you?

1758311_thumb Am I a Sex Addict?

 The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.

– Henry David Thoreau

The National Institute on Drug Abuse defines addiction as a chronic brain illness causing compulsive drug use, relapsing, despite harmful consequences (Schele, 2012).

Dopamine (DA) systems in the brain have been implicated in many clinical syndromes and behavioral responses of addictions including feeding, satiety, wakefulness, sleep, arousal, sex, drug addictions, attention, reward, decision-making, depression, anxiety, psychosis, and movement disorders (Pfaus, 2010, p. 877).

There are three “C’s” that uncover whether or not a person has an addiction.  For example, let us consider Shawn’s addiction.

The First C: Compulsive Behaviour

Shawn delved into his fantasies.  Whatever his thoughts fell on, he surfed the internet.  Shawn started with pornographic images and then videos.  Something hit his mind; he went on the internet looking for new pornography.  With time, porn…

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Pornography: My Outrageous Obsession; What was that about?

Do you have meaning for your life?

How to Stop Pornography Addiction

As you pay close attention to this article, you begin to consider the meaning for your life.

Little by little you begin to free yourself of limiting beliefs and decide to…

Neil Diamond sang:

I am, I said, to no one there. And no one heard at all, not even the chair. I am. I cried. I am, said I. And I am lost, and I can’t even say why, leavin’ me lonely still.

untitledNoPurpose Outrageous Obsession Kills Purpose

I sat in a 72 sq. ft. office/bedroom.  Deep in depression … wondering … my life swiftly passing by me.

Porn had left me feeling empty.  It sucked every bit of enthusiasm out of me.

I clicked off the porn site.

I thought: What purpose was there in watching emotionally damaged people suffering from self-degradation? What meaning was there in having an outrageous obsession for pornography just to masturbate?

What is an outrageous obsession?

Outrageous

1. grosslyoffensive to right or decency  

3. violent in

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Top 7 Steps to Breaking Free from Pornography Addiction

As you finish reading this article, you will discover 7 powerful steps to ending sexual addiction.

Now let yourself get in touch with your feelings and discover how to empower yourself with the strength to overcome porn.

Featured image
Strength & Hope

 

Alone, in the silence of the night, I realized that I had a porn addiction that included unmanageable sexual behavior.  My entire system—emotional, physical, and spiritual—had been perverted by pornography and sexually acting out.  I had to change.

Many mornings I prayed and did not feel a thing.  I was determined.  I prayed and prayed and read scriptures and inspirational readings.  I even perused self-help books and prayed some more.  Nothing happened.  Because I relapsed so many times, I still felt insincere even with all my effort.

Days later, I hadn’t looked at porn.  Okay, I thought that I had made progress.  However, that evening, I went on line and had a porn binge.  I became totally disgusted with myself.  After the episode, I saw the bottle of pills.  I knew that if I took the complete bottle, I would be ending my suffering. I would die. I took the complete bottle.

Sometime after midnight, my wife found me unconscious on the floor. Not responding to her.  My granddaughter called 911.  Just in time, the hospital pumped my stomach.  I didn’t die.  I was sent to a psyche ward.

The second morning in the mental hospital, I broke down.  Tears flowed, I shook while I wept and asked God to forgive me.  I told Him that I was sorry.  I thanked Him for his compassion.  I told Him that I love Him.

I forgave myself for trying to take my life.  Gratitude washed over me.  I knew without a doubt that I had to change. I no longer could avoid who I had become.

After I the suicide attempt, I found a therapist, who specializes in sexual therapy, and told him my story.  I also joined a Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) group and continue to share my story.  I learned in the SAA meetings that I had to make a fearless inventory of all of my wrongs.  I also had to confess to someone and to God about my addiction; fortunately these had already happened.  I had to journal the inventory.

I wrote an honest account of my behaviors.  I knew that if I didn’t, I would remain stuck with my limiting beliefs or if I stopped, I would relapse one more time.  I had to admit to myself, God, and someone else that I had an addiction to pornography.  I had to confess my wrongs.  I heard that confession is good for the soul; well, being desperate, I was willing to give it a try.

Why did I do this?  I didn’t have a choice if I wanted to break free from my addiction.

Top 7 Steps to Recovery

  1. Admit my wrongs to myself.
  2. Make a conscience inventory.
  3. Write a fearless account in a journal.
  4. Talk to God about my wrongs.
  5. Tell another person about my addiction.
  6. Attend a support group.
  7. Forgive myself.
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Strength In a Dark Night

Heavens and glory

Demonstrating creation

Grandeur in the dark

Yet, the silence spoke to me

Heart to Heart Came My Freedom

(Inspiration from Psalm 19)

I am still amazed how doing Steps 4 and 5 in the 12-Step Program empowered me to remain sober.  Now, during recovery, I continue to follow the steps.

Since the suicide attempt, 16 months have strengthened my resolve.

Meditation

Psalms 51

Thanks,

Dale Criswell

How-to Unlock Hope; Say Yes to the Five Benefits of AA & SAA Meetings

As you think about recovery from an addiction,

You become really interested in life.

Featured image(Albers, 2014)

January, 2015, I will celebrate one year of attending Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) meetings.

As a result, I have experienced the best year of my life and of my marriage.

I have stopped the objectification of my wife; now, I feel a gratitude for the spiritual strength she demonstrates.

In five days, we will be married 41 years.  I can thank God for guiding us to this point in our lives.  Our marriage grows stronger, every day.

I now have hope.

With the help of others, I can say yes to recovery.

The “Say Yes to Life” principle: “If we choose, we may overcome most of the challenges that face us” (Booth, 2009, p. 3).

Five Benefits of AA & SAA meetings (any Recovery Meetings)

  1. Many people recover from alcohol and sex addiction one day at a time
  2. Families of alcoholics and sex addicts are coming together
  3. Relationships heal with understanding
  4. People are picking up broken pieces
  5. Healing happens for the helper and the helped.

This Year, I Will Continue to Say Yes to My SAA Meetings.

It is the foundation to my recovery.

Thanks,

Dale

Reference

Albers, M. (2014). Uitnodiging algemene ledenvergadering. VVOJ Vereniging van Onderzoeksjournalisten. Retrieved from http://www.vvoj.nl/2014/10/25/uitnodiging-algemene-ledenvergadering-2014/.

Booth, L. (2009). Say yes to your sexual healing; daily meditations for sex addiction. Deerfield Beach; FL: Health Communications.

“We All Bleed Red”

Peace Fills. We Have Peace When We Have Unconditional Positive Regard for One Another.

Self Help Survival

Bleed Red – Ronnie Dunn

As the holidays and times of being thankful have approached and will soon be gone, it is important to remember that the spirit of thankfulness and gratefulness should be carried on everyday. ‘Bleed Red’ is a wonderful reminder that in this vast world, we all ‘bleed red’ and every person needs to be valued no matter who you are… an active addict / alcoholic, a recovering addict / alcoholic, Christian, not a Christian, Homosexual, Heterosexual, etc.  No one is better then anyone else and I am truly thankful for reading daily blogs on WordPress and other sites that remind me of this.  I am fascinated by what others have to write in regards to things such as emotional stories, open discussions about science / health, life stories, etc. Today, I am thankful and grateful that everyone is different in this world and that people share their differences, adversity…

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Blackouts

This post on blackouts can be for sex addicts, as well, who are alcoholics. The information may save a life, yours.

800 Recovery Hub Blog

I was a blackout drinker. It is terrifying to wake up and not know where you are. What a demoralizing experience. However, I am grateful for some of my memory lapses, because there are some things I am better off not knowing. For a long time I thought only alcoholics blacked out. That is not true. My husband thought that everyone who drank blacked out, and it was just a normal part of “partying”. Of course, that is not true either.

What is a blackout?

A blackout is an alcohol induced memory loss. Blackouts occur when alcohol blocks neurotransmitters that send memories from short-term memory to long-term memory. This is different from passing out, or drinking to the point of becoming unconscious.  When a person is in a blackout they are functioning as normally as another intoxicated person would be functioning. They are able to have conversations and act in ways that…

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Pornography: Three Reasons Why Seasons Come and Go and Remain the Same

Featured imageI kept noticing a pattern.  The older that I became (62) the more I saw seasons remaining the same.

Having this certainty, I did not feel any comfort.  I became desperate.

I was sure of one thing.  With each year, my pornography addiction became worse.

In November of 2013, the holidays were fast approaching.  That year was the same as any other year; Growing worse was always the same.

I began to view hardcore pornography to get the high that I use to get.  I was appalled by my decline.

There was one certainty in my life.  My spouse’s daily habits were religiously the same.  I knew when I could watch porn.

On November 6, 2013, I found myself online viewing pornography.

I was intent on in finding something new.  I was not sure how long I was online.  Feeling hopeless, I eventually clicked off the net.

I saw antidepressants on the bookcase.  I snapped.

I dumped the entire bottle into my mouth. I realized what I had done, so I spat them out into my trash can.

I looked at the pills; all stuck together on top of printing paper.

What’s the use! 

I reached into the trash and pushed the wet pills back into my  mouth.

In the middle of the night, my wife found me on the office-bedroom floor.

(I don’t sleep with her; the grandchildren do.)

I woke up in the ICU of St. Anne’s Mercy Hospital; having lost time between taking pills and being in the hospital.

The seasons came and gone in 2014, but they were not the same. I had a better year.

Three reasons: Having 1) therapy, 2) support, and 3) Biopsychology to help me with my addiction.

In the next post, I describe how the three reasons helped me.

Thanks,

Dale