The freedom is simply unbelievable. Could it happen for you?
Am I a Sex Addict?
The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
– Henry David Thoreau
The National Institute on Drug Abuse defines addiction as a chronic brain illness causing compulsive drug use, relapsing, despite harmful consequences (Schele, 2012).
Dopamine (DA) systems in the brain have been implicated in many clinical syndromes and behavioral responses of addictions including feeding, satiety, wakefulness, sleep, arousal, sex, drug addictions, attention, reward, decision-making, depression, anxiety, psychosis, and movement disorders (Pfaus, 2010, p. 877).
There are three “C’s” that uncover whether or not a person has an addiction. For example, let us consider Shawn’s addiction.
The First C: Compulsive Behaviour
Shawn delved into his fantasies. Whatever his thoughts fell on, he surfed the internet. Shawn started with pornographic images and then videos. Something hit his mind; he went on the internet looking for new pornography. With time, porn…
As you finish reading this article, you will discover 7 powerful steps to ending sexual addiction.
Now let yourself get in touch with your feelings and discover how to empower yourself with the strength to overcome porn.
Alone, in the silence of the night, I realized that I had a porn addiction that included unmanageable sexual behavior. My entire system—emotional, physical, and spiritual—had been perverted by pornography and sexually acting out. I had to change.
Many mornings I prayed and did not feel a thing. I was determined. I prayed and prayed and read scriptures and inspirational readings. I even perused self-help books and prayed some more. Nothing happened. Because I relapsed so many times, I still felt insincere even with all my effort.
Days later, I hadn’t looked at porn. Okay, I thought that I had made progress. However, that evening, I went on line and had a porn binge. I became totally disgusted with myself. After the episode, I saw the bottle of pills. I knew that if I took the complete bottle, I would be ending my suffering. I would die. I took the complete bottle.
Sometime after midnight, my wife found me unconscious on the floor. Not responding to her. My granddaughter called 911. Just in time, the hospital pumped my stomach. I didn’t die. I was sent to a psyche ward.
The second morning in the mental hospital, I broke down. Tears flowed, I shook while I wept and asked God to forgive me. I told Him that I was sorry.I thanked Him for his compassion. I told Him that I love Him.
I forgave myself for trying to take my life. Gratitude washed over me. I knew without a doubt that I had to change. I no longer could avoid who I had become.
After I the suicide attempt, I found a therapist, who specializes in sexual therapy, and told him my story. I also joined a Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) group and continue to share my story. I learned in the SAA meetings that I had to make a fearless inventory of all of my wrongs. I also had to confess to someone and to God about my addiction; fortunately these had already happened. I had to journal the inventory.
I wrote an honest account of my behaviors. I knew that if I didn’t, I would remain stuck with my limiting beliefs or if I stopped, I would relapse one more time. I had to admit to myself, God, and someone else that I had an addiction to pornography. I had to confess my wrongs. I heard that confession is good for the soul; well, being desperate, I was willing to give it a try.
Why did I do this? I didn’t have a choice if I wanted to break free from my addiction.
As the holidays and times of being thankful have approached and will soon be gone, it is important to remember that the spirit of thankfulness and gratefulness should be carried on everyday. ‘Bleed Red’ is a wonderful reminder that in this vast world, we all ‘bleed red’ and every person needs to be valued no matter who you are… an active addict / alcoholic, a recovering addict / alcoholic, Christian, not a Christian, Homosexual, Heterosexual, etc. No one is better then anyone else and I am truly thankful for reading daily blogs on WordPress and other sites that remind me of this. I am fascinated by what others have to write in regards to things such as emotional stories, open discussions about science / health, life stories, etc. Today, I am thankful and grateful that everyone is different in this world and that people share their differences, adversity…
I was a blackout drinker. It is terrifying to wake up and not know where you are. What a demoralizing experience. However, I am grateful for some of my memory lapses, because there are some things I am better off not knowing. For a long time I thought only alcoholics blacked out. That is not true. My husband thought that everyone who drank blacked out, and it was just a normal part of “partying”. Of course, that is not true either.
What is a blackout?
A blackout is an alcohol induced memory loss. Blackouts occur when alcohol blocks neurotransmitters that send memories from short-term memory to long-term memory. This is different from passing out, or drinking to the point of becoming unconscious. When a person is in a blackout they are functioning as normally as another intoxicated person would be functioning. They are able to have conversations and act in ways that…